Monday, August 15

Health Stats with Edna

Why in the world must the elderly share their medical stats with us of a younger generation while slothing around a doctor's waiting room? I feel like an announcer is needed to properly display the lineup of "achievements" some of said elderly have achieved...

Now stepping to the window, Edna. With a strong series of procedures, she ails from an ulcer, diabetes, heart problems and spider veins. A ripe age of 76, she has earned the honor of clean colon several years running. Her 21 year stint with her current cardiologist is best in the county...

Yes, I met Edna and yes, her stats are true. While waiting for my mom to finish up her "in-depth" video shoot, I was graced with the presence and medical rundown of dear ol' Edna.

Have you noticed that older folks enjoy discussing their medical history? Our discussion began with her asking why I was "in here". After bursting her bubble of excitement by telling her I wasn't a patient, she began running through her recent accomplishments which concluded with her colonoscopy she was "prepped and ready for". Trying to remain respectful without running out of the office screaming, I quietly sat and listened to her describe her previous day. I'll spare you the details, but just know it involved her intestines and stomach to be totally emptied with excessive trips to the bathroom.

Is this something that all elderly share? Or was I just blessed this morning?

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